What’s more frightening – a blind date or an interview for a job” Despite the ridiculous prevalence of embarrassing TV dating shows, it must be the former because we know people who would rather a) sit through 24 straight hours of Teletubbies, b) camp with their parents for a month, or c) wax various sensitive parts of their anatomy than be set up on a blind date. The only difference” Blind dates can be avoided during one’s lifetime, but interviews cannot; therefore, you better go the way of the Boy Scout and Be Prepared. Look on the sunny side – at least you won’t have to pick up the tab if the interviewer’s not exactly your type.

If you think about it, dating and interviewing really aren’t all that different:

• You’re nervous and try to make a good first impression. “What if they don’t like my accent”” “Are going to think my school was cool enough to hire me”” “Should I buy a new outfit for the interview””
• You look for chemistry and compatibility in the potential relationship. “I don’t like the way they made me wait in the lobby for 45 minutes.” “Am I qualified enough for this position”” “I think it’s boring that they only work on one type of project.”
• You assess willingness of the other party to commit long-term. “Are they just looking for employees to get them through this project”” “What if I don’t like working in that department”” “Do you have a training program”” 

  So how do you wow your interviewer and get asked out on a second “date”” Simple. Follow some amazingly basic rules and avoid common pitfalls.

I gotta new attitude.

Attitude is just about everything. You can be lacking a bit in other categories – experience, education, fashion sense – and a positive, energetic attitude will cause an interviewer to look twice. Walk in with a sour face and monotone presence, and they are going to wonder why in the world you even bothered to show up. Doing everything you can to avoid engaging in conversation, and they are going to show you out the door even if your portfolio rocks.

Don’t look at your watch, give yourself a manicure with your teeth, or try to estimate how big the room is by counting ceiling tiles. If you don’t show interest in the company and the person taking time out his/her crazy schedule, then they certainly aren’t going to take an interest in you.

On the other hand, avoid going overboard. If you think everything is great! super! fantastic!, then you are just achieving another level of monotony. Plus, when you inevitably lie about what you think is so great! super! fantastic!, you’ll appear as fake as Tammy Faye’s eyelashes, i.e. distracting and annoying.

Furthermore, don’t blatantly name-drop. If you know someone important in the field that is relevant to the conversation, by all means mention them, but don’t brag about it. Lastly, avoid regressing to your teenage self by knowing everything, because if it turns out that you don’t, you are going to look like a big ol’ Loser.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Speaking of pretending to know stuff… One of THE worst things you can do in an interview is lie. What constitutes an official lie” Hard facts, of course. For example:

• Don’t say that you worked four years at a previous firm when you only worked two. All the interviewer has to do is call and check. And they probably will.
• Don’t say that you know 15 kinds of software programs when you don’t. What if they actually hire you and ask you to produce a project schedule using Microsoft Project on the very first day” If you have no idea what you’re doing, they are going to question everything you say from there on out.
• Don’t say that you were completely in charge of a particular project when you weren’t. This industry is small. The interviewer may be friends with the developer or contractor on the project, and all they have to do is shoot them an email and find out the truth.

Believe us, you will be respected so much more for admitting lack of knowledge or experience than for pretending to know something you don’t. All you have to do is expressing a willingness and enthusiasm to learn or give an example of a time when you’ve had to do just that to get a job done, and you will earn big Brownie points.

Stylin’ & profilin’.

Even though the work place has become a much more casual place in the last 10 years, that doesn’t give you an excuse to show up looking like a slob. And don’t use the excuse that you don’t have enough cash to dress the part. There are enough low-cost / fashion-forward retail stores out there now to blow that excuse out of the water.

The basics when choosing what to wear to the interview:

• although color is good thing, save the sparkle and shine for the disco – you don’t want to look like you’re auditioning for the latest Britney Spears video
• reveal too much of your bod, and no one will notice your mind – save the low cut blouse, the high cut skirt and the bun-hugging trousers for your next “real” date
• don’t think you always have to wear a suit – as long as you’re put together and appear professional, confident and appropriate, you’ll be fine

The basics to do the night before your interview:

• make sure your clothes are stain, tear and wrinkle free – don’t look like you just rolled out of bed, even if you did
• check for missing buttons, broken zippers and straggling threads – don’t look like you were attacked by a pack of feral cats on the way over, even if you were
• try on for comfort and proper fit – don’t look like the Michelin Man or a ‘90s wannabe rapper, even if you are
• don’t forget your shoes because people almost always notice shoes – check for dust, mud, scuffs, broken laces, broken heels, etc.

Other concerns:

• Unless you know for sure that the firm you are interviewing with is young-n-hip-cool-n-casual, take out those facial piercings and cover up those tattoos. Whether rightly or wrongly, stuff like that is distracting and will influence an interviewer’s opinion of you.
• Grooming and hygiene counts too. Dirty, messy, multi-colored, abnormally colored or radically cut hair will make a huge (and usually negative) first impression. Same goes for nails – while scraggly, bitten and dirty ones say “I could care less what I look like,” long talons of hot pink or – worse – with holiday scenes painted on them say “I love the nightlife and want to boogie more than I want this job.” And don’t forget the teeth and mouth. If you just scarfed down a yummy lamb gyro right before your interview, do yourself a favor and visit the bathroom mirror before you step foot into that office. Nothing makes an impression like bad breath or food in your teeth. Your interviewer won’t hear a word you say.

Why is all of this so important” If a firm hires you, you will be representing them. They will be picturing you presenting to clients, interacting with developers and manufacturers, and influencing other employees. If in doubt, dress for church.

Actions speak just as loud as words.

This section could truly double as a dating manual, and it can easily be summed up in some basic Dos & Don’ts…

Don’t:

• be unprepared – have a few copies of your resume, your portfolio, and some references easily accessible; the more you have to dig, the more time you waste and the more unprepared you appear
• be ignorant about the company with which you are interviewing – hey, there’s this crazy new thing called the Internet! Use it.
• be late – nothing shows disrespect more than showing up late and wasting an interviewers time, not to mention standing them up altogether; if you do either one of these, kiss that interview good-bye
• forget to follow up – send a thank-you note and then later make a phone call, and do it quick before they forget what a charming powerhouse of energy you are

Do:

• listen to what the interviewer is asking you – if you go off on a tangent and don’t answer the interviewers question, he’s either going to think that a) you’re hiding something, b) you’ve got attention deficit disorder, c) you’re a control freak, or d) you can’t understand what he’s saying; none of these will win you any points
• ask questions – hey, this interview process goes both ways; you should want to know what you might be getting yourself into
• have good body language – practice what your mother (should have) told you: sit up straight, maintain comfortable eye contact, and sit with your legs together or crossed (who knew your mother actually knew what she was talking about”)
• turn off your cell phone – there is NO excuse for taking a call while in an interview, even if it’s from that really hot guy that you met at the bookstore last week (especially if it’s from that really hot guy that you met at the bookstore last week)
• show common courtesy – shake hands, stand up when introduced, don’t interrupt, and all that good stuff; for more on topics like this, see our DON’T EMBARRASS YOURSELF section

We need to talk.

Finally! We’re to the actual talking part. And you thought that’s all an interview was, didn’t you” Well, it IS a big part, so let’s get to communicating.

Get over your shyness and/or fear because monosyllabic answers are OUT. If some one asks you a Yes or No question, they really don’t want you to answer it with just Yes or No. They want to hear, “No, but let me explain why…” or “Yes, I believe that because…” How else are they going to get to know if you are a match for their firm”

If you go in with a pre-set “script” prepared for every interview, then you are going to sound like a robot. They won’t feel like they are getting to know the real you and will probably be suspicious (or scared) of what lies beneath.

You are not filming a segment of The Jerry Springer Show, so – in addition to avoiding any kind of profanity or crude derogatory remarks – do NOT tell the interviewer about your last visit to the therapist, your uncle’s crystal meth problem, your sister’s affair with a married man or your father’s DWI arrest. As we like to say here at PLiNTH & CHiNTZ: That’s not an issue, that’s a secret.

Another no-no” Dragging their former (or current) place of employment through the mud. In fact, don’t bad-mouth anybody: your roommate, your professor, or even your dry-cleaner. It is small, small world out there, and you never know who knows whom.

Happy dating… interviewing… whatever.

 

 

---

Do you have comments about this article or do you want to add an anecdote about your own personal experience” We welcome the feedback. Email us at contact@plinthandchintz.com.