contributed by Amy Johnson [style dominatrix / idea machine / sidekick / ninja]

Despite the title “Party”, a work party still has that nasty little adjective in front of it: “Work”. This is not the time to “Get Down on It” to your choreographed Vanilla Ice routine, revive your legendary beer bong skills, or let Mike in Accounting see the True You – you know, the wild, dangerous, outrageous You – complete with concealed tattoos that you’ll regret after age 40. Make the most of the opportunity and don’t let everyone remember you for all the wrong reasons this holiday season.

No, no, children (and adults who act like children). This is a time to mix and mingle and get to know others in the firm a bit better, but NOT in the biblical sense. For example...

• Are you habitually emailing Laurence in the library to have samples sent up, but you’ve never met him face to face?

• How about Michelle in the mailroom who always manages to get your FedEx packages out on time, but you’re always in such a rush that you barely say thanks?

• Would you like to tell the firm’s principal that you went to her alma mater, but could never possibly schedule an appointment with her just to say that?

Well, Holiday Party Time is the perfect time to make all these things happen. Take the simple quiz below to rate your Holiday Party EQ (Etiquette Quotient) before hitting the fancy dinner, country club bash, lovely luncheon, or other festivity that someone at the office has painstakingly planned and paid for. See how you rate and brush up on those “problem areas” before you hit the social circuit.

Taste Test

• Mingling 101. The office party is a great opportunity to:

A) Corner your boss about getting assigned to that high-profile project. With any luck, she’ll be a bit tipsy and you can talk her into anything!

B) Explain in agonizing detail to Lauren why your space plan for the Cramer Company makes far more sense than hers. She can’t hide behind voicemail and email now. Ha!

C) “Accidentally” lock yourself and the new hottie intern in the copy room and “get to know each other”.

D) Introduce yourself to people in the firm you never get to talk to because you’re not in the same department or you never have time to stop and chat during the workweek. Maybe find yourself a new lunch buddy. Or a fellow Happy Meal Toy collector. Or discover that the legendary “Evil Fran” isn’t really evil at all.

• Alco-frolic Beverages. The party includes an open bar. You:

A) Hover around all the bigwigs professing your knowledge of aged Scotch and Icelandic vodka. Then complain that this “philistine” bartender has no idea how to make a proper Perfect Flaming Dr Pepper.

B) Make a point of telling everyone you can’t believe the company is allowing people to drink during a work function and that the liability is enormous. How irresponsible of the owners!

C) Grab all the booze you can get. What a great way to get loaded for free before heading out to a “real party” with your friends.

D) Sip a glass of wine or beer or have a single cocktail. You’re here to mingle, not tingle with boozy craziness. You’ve spent how many months (or years!) building up a professional reputation and earning respect from these coworkers and bosses. A few free cocktails aren’t worth throwing all of that away in one night. Tip: For your second drink, order something you really don’t care for so that you’ll just sip it for the rest of the event.

• Under the Mission-toe. All the fatcats are attending the party. You:

A) Make it your mission to meet every single one and make sure they’re familiar with all the contributions you’ve made to the firm this year.

B) Ignore everyone else at the party who tries to chat with you because you only see the point of mingling with “important people”.

C) Let the firm’s principal know that you would “do anything” (wink, wink) to get ahead in the company.

D) Make an effort to introduce yourself to several higher-ups if possible and maybe even mention your work on a specific project. Don’t drag them down with your laundry list of work experiences, though. And don’t miss out on this terrific chance to mingle with people you work with or would like to work with on a regular basis, too. You never know when a good connection to someone who's not at the top of the heap might still catapult you upward when you least expect it.

• Graceful Exits. At the end of the night, you:

A) Have told everyone at your table that your roommate works for a COOL company who is throwing their party at the hottest new restaurant in town, complete with live music and high-value goodie bags for everyone.

B) Find the organizer and recite your long list of suggestions on how to make the party “not suck” next year. Don’t forget to mention that the company is obviously doing well, so they shouldn’t have skimped on such a lame-o party.

C) Throw yourself on the cute Senior Designer you’ve been crushing on and ask for a ride home because you’re obviously in no condition to drive.

D) Thank the head of the company for a lovely evening. Then find the party organizer who took care of all the details and thank them as well – whether you enjoyed the party or not. ‘Tis the season to be thankful and gracious, ‘tis not?

How’d You Do?

Mostly A’s – Sweetie, calm your suck-up tendencies. Nobody likes a butt-kisser. Take advantage of this chance for a little face-to-face time with the grand poobahs, but for goodness sake, don’t embarrass yourself or irritate everyone else.

Mostly B’s – Those coworkers of yours may be your next supervisors, so do not make the mistake of blowing them off or treating them badly at this very important social event. Get to know them a little besides the usual work stuff. Who knows how many ways you can benefit from these relationships?

Mostly C’s – OK, Lindsay, get thee to an AA meeting. It’s time to grow up and act like an adult, not an out-of-control partying college kid. (At least not in front of your boss.) Show a little self-control. Please.

Mostly D’s - “Your mama raised you right,” as some folks in Texas say when describing someone with good manners who is polished and a pleasure to be around. You’re gonna go far, kid.

Party Smart

Now remember, it’s a party, but it’s also work. It’s not optional. You are expected to be there. And you’re encouraged to have a good time. Just not too good.