In our DESIGN SPEAK debut, we explained what it means to field verify a space. Since you’re probably too lazy to go look up our very well-formed explanation (and we don’t blame you), we’ll give you an abridged version… Put simply, this term means going out to a space, measuring it and noting the location of any elements that are important to the scope of your project that might affect your design. That doesn’t sounds so bad, right” Usually, it’s not. However, wherever humans are involved, crazy things happen. So, instead of one long yarn, this time we’re going to share a smattering of anecdotes, each a little more odd than the last.

Since we know that you still haven’t bothered to surf on over to the DESIGN SPEAK section and glance at our full definition of “field verify”, we’re going to repeat something else we said about it. In fact, we don’t mind repeating this point because it needs to be drilled into your head anyway. So here it is again:

When someone (a client, a building manager, a real estate broker, etc.) gives you a floor plan or a set of drawings, automatically assume that they are inaccurate because 95% of the time they are. Therefore, if at all possible, it is necessary to (at the very least) take some quick measurements to make sure all is copasetic. You’ll be glad you did. We’ve learned the hard way. That’s why we’re telling you this for a second time.

Now off our soapbox and on to the stories…

Story No. 1: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

One designer we know – we’ll call her Cathryn* – traveled out to Cali for a fast-n-furious few days of strip shopping mall field verifications for her Retail client. During one particularly hot day (100+ degrees), she had to venture up on the roof to check out the existing heating and air-conditioning units. The property manager was kind enough to let her up there, but he didn’t bother to tell Maintenance. Therefore, when Cat had taken her notes, checked them twice and was ready to take the Nestea plunge, she headed over to the roof hatch to make her escape. Well, guess what” It was locked. No cell phone, no shade, and no water. She was living her own little version of Cast Away. So guess what our heroine had to do” Scream her head off at passers-by. Talk about “Attention, K-Mart shoppers!” Sometimes you gotta do whatcha gotta do. Oh, and she did get saved, by the way. Too bad it wasn’t by some hunky fireman…

Story No. 2: Designer, P.I.

Are you good at disguises” What about exotic accents” If not, then we hope that you are a good fibber, but you may be called upon to tell a few little white lies. Why” Because sometimes the current tenant of the space you are field verifying doesn’t know that they are being booted out. Nice, huh” So always have a story ready to go just in case this happens to be the situation. Our old standby” “We’re with the insurance company.” Of course the problem comes when they ask which insurance company, so be ready with that answer too. Just hope that the inquiring party doesn’t pay the company’s insurance bills, or security just might show you out the door.

Story No. 3: I Know Nothing, aka I Just Work Here

If you do a lot of corporate work for a particular client, you almost become one of their employees. Even in a company of up to 500+, people start to recognize your face if you have been helping the Facilities Manager reconfigure space for a couple of years. That’s good when you need to ask questions because you know exactly who to ask. That’s bad if you have been let in on company secrets like a big lay off, the dissolution of a department or the pending relocation of employees. PLiNTH & CHiNTZ’s Founder frequently found herself in this situation. Around the corridors of her long-time client, she was secretly called The Grim Reaper. (And they thought she didn’t know!) When employees saw her coming with tape measure and grid paper in hand, they started to sweat. The brave employees came right on out and asked her questions like, “What’s going on”” “Are we being laid off”” “So where are we moving”” However, no matter how much information she was privy to, her standard answer was a very perky, “Oh, don’t worry – I’m just taking inventory!” She should have won an Oscar.

Story No. 4: We’re Not Paranoid – We Just Have Big Egos

Then you have those clients who think they have stepped out of a James Bond movie. Just because they work on something related to the internet or computer software, they don’t want you poking around. Trust us: half the time you are not even going to understand what in the world these clients even do, but they don’t seem to understand that the minutia of their world isn’t your obsession too. Therefore, when you come through their space to do your job, they may eye you suspiciously. In fact, sometimes they won’t even let you in. Really. A designer we’ll call Kevin* was paid by his client to get on plane, travel to another city, stay a couple of nights in a hotel… all so that he could field verify one of their existing offices that needed a good remodel. Already tight for time, he showed up early, ready to get to work. They wouldn’t let him through the door. Why” His client was a huge software company with offices all over North America, and the right hand didn’t know what the left hand was doing. So he ended up wasting valuable hours trying to get this satellite office in the Mountain Time Zone to communicate with their East Coast co-workers, which were really more like rivals. And you thought politics was just for politicians. Bureaucracy is everywhere, baby, and designers frequently get caught in the middle.

Story No. 5: Haven’t We Met Before… In My Dreams”

Ah, the perverts. There is never a shortage, is there” Disturbing fellows who see an opportunity and – almost quite literally – jump on it. “You look like you’re lost, Miss. Can I help you find something“” “Let me help you hold that tape.” “Do you need access to the storage room” Let me get that key for you, and I’ll help you out.” Yuk. You want to believe they’re being helpful when all they’re really being is lecherous. A look up your skirt here, a glance down your blouse there. Stranger danger! Just be on the lookout for these total losers.

Story No. 6: What Am I – a Designer or an Exterminator”

Not every space you must field verify is pleasant. In fact, some of them are downright disgusting and creepy. Sometime the space hasn’t been occupied in a while, and sometimes the current residents are just plain slobs. Similar to a traveling carnival Fun House, you might encounter spider webs (if not the spiders themselves), rats (if not the rats themselves), and any variety of dead fauna (birds, rodents, insects). A favorite story is about a designer who had to field verify a space in a strip shopping center that had never been built out despite the center’s being around for a few years. Apparently, the property management hadn’t bothered to visit the space during that time either. The designer walked into the un-air-conditioned space on a sweltering August day, and the stench almost knocked him over. Instead of the concrete floor being a typical gray color, it was almost black due to the sea of both live and dead crickets. It was like The Plague. Pestilence is pure misery. And, yes, he still had to measure the space. Ewwwww.

Story No. 7: Real Life Gross-out Stories Just In Time For Halloween

You think insects are bad” Wait until you have to do a little field verification for a Healthcare project. It’s not for the squeamish. Don’t be surprised if you have to put on scrubs and/or a protective mask while you’re roaming around taking dimensions. Surgery wards, operating rooms, patient rooms, anatomy labs, intensive care, morgues, resuscitation dummy labs, the cafeteria… Healthcare’s got it all. We like the story about our designer friend whom we’ll call Melissa*. She had the distinct pleasure of verifying an animal research lab. She had just finished happily measuring around all the adorable little caged sheep when a researcher in a white coat stopped Melissa on the way out the door. It turned out that these adorable little caged sheep were carriers of some freakishly weird, rare virus. After he informed her of this disturbing fact, he handed her a pamphlet and casually said, “If you happen to experience any of the symptoms listed in this booklet, immediate contact your doctor. And be sure to take him this literature – he’ll want it. Good day!” Ahhh… thank goodness for the kindness of strangers.

As you can see, the world of interior design is quite glamorous. Be honest – you didn’t realize that there could be so much dirty work, now did you” We promise that it’s really not that bad. If it were, then why would so many people be doing it”

Even though it can be a nasty business, field verification can be quite critical to the success of your project. Therefore, the next time you contemplate skipping that verification trip for a afternoon at the local movie theater, we hope you hear James Earl Jones’ voice (a la Darth Vader) slowly whispering the following commandment in your head: Designers shouldn’t let other designers avoid of field verifying.

*Note: Names have been changed to protect The Innocent, The Guilty and The Humiliated.

contact@plinthandchintz.com and put REAL WORLD in the subject line. Go ahead and unburden yourself. You’ll feel better in the morning.

Are you a designer or an industry guru who has a backstory to share” Truth is usually stranger than fiction, and our readers want to hear about it. The goal is not to scare away the idealists, but rather to prepare them for whatever comes their way. Email us at