As children, we long to grow up so that we can escape playground bullies and the immature conduct of our peers. We picture the workplace as nirvana – a refuge of independence and rational 
thought and our reward for surviving an emotional, pimply adolescence. Boy, were we naïve. Building upon last month’s installment demonstrating what you can learn from being micro-managed and how to best earn respect of your co-workers, we’ll now examine how to cope with soap opera-worthy situations.
Unfortunately, adults do not always show evidence of adult behavior. Even worse, it is assured that you will be forced to work with – or even for – one of these professionally-challenged people at some point in your career. The solution” Stand your ground and don’t back down. Remember the cliché “that which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger”” It’s true, as exhibited in our real-life examples below.
This article’s themes:
• Mean Bosses
• Office Drama
The Devil Can Wear Anything
Yes, sometimes you will be unfortunate enough to find a great job, but you might be working for a supreme jackass. (Pardon my French.) Again, make the most of it by learning the business and establishing a network, and then get the heck out. My friend Lara, who originally graduated with an art degree but who went back to school to become a landscape architect, related her nightmare to us to share with you:
"My first job out of college is where I experienced MY ‘Miranda.’ My devil, though not wearing Prada, was Cruella d’Eville incarnate. (And my being blonde and owner of a Dalmatian puppy made the circumstances even more fitting.)
“Cruella offered me what I thought to be my dream job. I accepted the position of Director of a small independently owned fine art gallery that featured local, regional and even some international artists. The gallery was a ‘toy’ of the millionaire owners.
“Initially, the relationship was good but as I started excelling in sales and building relationships beyond those she had set up, her friendliness turned to bitterness very quickly! She threw enormous temper tantrums, horribly criticized everything I did from my appearance to how I answered the phone, and overall just belittled me whenever possible (and if others were present it just made her day). Such a nice lady. NOT!
“How did I respond” Lots of tears at first! (Privately, of course.) Eventually though, I started playing a game. But not HER game. For starters, I addressed her complaint that I was not communicative enough – hard to communicate well with someone who makes them self utterly inaccessible unless they want to be.
“So I began keeping a journal. I wrote down everything (yes, everything) that happened during the day and a copy was delivered or faxed to her each evening for her review, whether she was in town or off at her beach house. It was amazing how this simple act silenced her. Moreover, this catalogue of the day’s events taught me how important it is to know what happened, when it happened, and if resolution was needed, how it was handled.
The best thing that came out of that position was the relationships that I developed with artists and art enthusiasts that I still treasure today, as well as my realization that being organized can keep you on track and out of trouble.”
Oh, The Drama!
Sometimes the whole barrel is rotten rather than just one bad apple. Just like doing a background check on a potential new boyfriend won’t reveal how flakey he’s going to turn out to be, sometimes – no matter how much you research a job – you never really know what it’s going to be like until you start in on the day-to-day.
Some work environments end up being hostile and full of unnecessary drama that will make you uncomfortable and suck your energy dry. That doesn’t mean, though, that you can’t learn something from these experiences – even if it’s what NOT to do. Brandy, a designer who now works for a firm doing tenant improvement work, relates her story:
“I took a job that looked like it was going to be a GREAT position with a furniture dealer. I interviewed with the manager of the office only and never actually went into the office until my first day on the job, though I had really researched the company. I thought that I went to three distinct interviews, so I figured that I had to have to been doing something right since I took so long to make a decision.
“The interview process took about a month. I really wanted to work for just the right company and just the right boss. At the time I had a job as a designer [with an A&D firm], and I just did not love the firm that I was working for. It seemed really important to take my time, and that’s what I thought I was doing.
“I was interviewing with four companies, but I decided to take the furniture dealership position. After about three months, I realized that I had made a HUGE mistake! My manager that I had interviewed with had a temper and would throw things out of her office, and if you were walking by, you got hit. It was a very small office (10 people total, almost all women). Everyone wanted to be in the middle of the drama. I distanced myself, but it seemed like they were always trying to pull me into it. I felt like I was in high school again with all of the backstabbing and commotion.
“The manager of that office did not realize that her example was a very poor one, and it caused everyone else to follow her lead. The people in that office would follow me into the restroom and would interrupt me at lunch. I felt like I could not get away from work. They called me when I was on vacation – on a cruise – and were trying to get me to answer questions that the person I handed the job off to was capable of handling. I told them that I worked very hard for my vacations, so I would not take their call.
“After I got back from vacation, I started looking for another job. This time I was not nearly so particular, and I found a wonderful job. The best day was the day I went into that manager’s office and told her I was leaving. Honestly, I expected her to throw something at me. She countered the offer, but I told her that it was not because of money that I was leaving, it was her lack of managing her temper.
“I took away many positive things from this job… One and a half years of experience (on top of the four that I had previously) and exposure in the local design community through IIDA (the dealership is a huge supporter of IIDA, and it got me really networked in with people I did not know) that helped me find my job that I am in now, which I adore.
“So, to sum up: You have to go through the bad jobs and managers to really truly appreciate the good ones.”
More To Come
Join us later this year for more clever counsel on how to make the most of your less-than-perfect job. We’ll explain how to educate yourself while teaching your employers a few valuable lessons in the process. In the meantime, take a deep breath and let the force be with you.
