I’ve been in Ireland for seven months now, and I feel it is going reasonably well. I haven’t called home in tears, haven’t spent a single night wondering if I did the right thing, and haven’t contacted my last office to see if I’ve been missed. (I’m sure I have been, though.) 
And since I speak the language, largely, it’s not been that difficult of a transition for me. Especially when compared to my first move abroad in college to Sweden as an exchange student. That was an uphill battle beset by the climate: cold, dark, windy, cold. Did I mention cold” I also fell sick while there and realized how difficult it is to describe your symptoms to the doctor using a dictionary and International Travelers Sign Language. The Pee-Pee Dance is of course universally understood, but just try to explain allergies in a language not your own. That was 10 years ago, and the lessons I learned have served me well. Had someone sat me down at the time and gave me the little talk I’m about to give you, it might have been a better experience. So, things I’ve learned that make it easier to live in a land of others…
One
“At home” is the most dangerous concept you can hang on to. Pick a system – anything you’ve always taken for granted – and it’s going to be done differently, sometimes maddeningly so. “At home” the post (a.k.a. the mail) arrives pretty much at the same time every day, delivered by a person in a US Postal Service uniform, driving a USPS issue vehicle. Not so here.
Today I left for work and the postman had already been there. The other day, I was making dinner when it showed up. They wear whatever they want, and they drive their own cars (police too). I suggested they try to adhere to a schedule, but it’s just a suggestion. “At Home” things happen in a particular way. “Here” things happen in a different particular way. Clinging to the belief that their system will change simply because you’ve arrived will lead to massive concussions as you bang our head against the wall. The more adaptable you are to change, the easier it’s going to be. Why leave home to live the exact same way”
Two
A new vocabulary is an absolute must. Asking a co-worker for a rubber is something likely to get you in trouble in the US, but in England it gets you an eraser. In Ireland, if you want to phone someone, you “ring” them, if they visit you, they “call on” you. It’s an important thing to know really. It’s an exercise in re-programming, which insures being laughed at when you return home with all these new phrases like “That one’s a runner” and “Shall I call up to you then””
Three
Let go of your home units when dealing with money. Not only is it exhausting to do the math every time you want a pack of gum, the rates change daily, and if you stay for a substantial amount of time, that camera can fluctuate from a great bargain to a big rip-off. Not only that, you’ll find yourself incensed by the stupidest things: peanut butter, socks, gym memberships, whatever. I have a co-worker who has been here a year but still insists on converting to the South African Rand. He’s appalled at how much things cost here, especially compared to home. He gets paid in Euro but he shops with one foot back in Africa. He’s never been happy here.
Four
Laughing at the locals is never a good way to make friends. Neither is referring to them as “you people,” i.e. “How can You People live like this”” You are in their country of your own volition; stop telling them we saved their butt in World War or whatever.
Five
Some cultures run late, some are on time. Learn quickly which culture you’re in and adapt accordingly. The Swiss are militantly punctual for everything. The Italians and the French, not so much; they’ve got 24 hours in their day, plenty of time to get things done. It’s not just you showing up on time, it’s the general attitude toward getting things done. When will my paperwork be done” “Eh! Soon.” It’s frustrating, and the only way to combat it is to adjust your mindset accordingly.
Six
Things are much smaller here: cars, apartments, shops, choices. Getting over your standard of living is very difficult but very necessary. My closet is bursting at the seams with all my clothes. Not because I own that many, but because the wardrobe space provided in a typical second bedroom is the size of an average coat closet in the US.
It’s frustrating but I’m learning to adjust. (I also clean my room a lot. It certainly gives me pause when I find myself eyeing a new blouse that I don’t really need.) Also, the shops (a.k.a. stores) are much smaller. The concept of corporate retail is slowly catching on here, but the prevailing tradition is still for Mom & Pop type operations.
The local grocer closest to my house is an absolute blast back in time. Everything is behind the counter, you ask for the items you want and the owner wraps it up for you while carrying on a conversation about the weather and the kids these days. There is never any telling what he’ll have, but he stocks the basics: two types of bread, one type of milk, more bacon than the FDA recommends, 45 different newspapers, eggs, etc…
Now the corporate grocery store is similar to what I’ve grown up with, but much, much smaller. Again, there isn’t really a whole lot of choice (I searched for weeks for artichoke hearts), but they stock the basics. The tradition here is to shop daily for what you need and to purchase most of it at the individual shops, i.e. butcher, green grocer, chemist, etc… And since you have to carry your groceries home, the bags are smaller, the trolleys (a.k.a. shopping carts) are smaller, and the fridge is smaller.
Price is constant however. Imported goods are still overpriced, local goods are a better deal, but the store brand is definitely the best deal.
More To Come
OK, take time to ruminate on this half of the list before I move on to the next six juicy bits of advice next month. You won’t want to miss that installment, where, among other things, you’ll learn how to respond to the following questions without risking arrest:
- “So where are you from””
- “A debit card – what’s that””
- “Why are you Americans so loud“”
