Much like “Stop, Drop and Roll”, the three little words “Stop, Look, and Listen” have been drilled into our hard heads by parents and teachers for various reasons… all of them good. People that really know how to listen are savvier communicators, and smooth-n-shrewd communication will draw people to you, earn you more respect and, consequently, cause you to perform better socially and in business. Listening well is simply part of The Many Rules of Etiquette, especially on the job. The Number One Basic Rule of Listening concerns INTERRUPTING. (No, not erupting, though all those chilidogs you had for lunch could definitely cause an interruption at the weekly staff meeting. Gross.)
Doesn’t it hack you off when you get interrupted” No – I just love it when I can’t express my opinion / provide an alternative idea / defend my actions / reveal my clever nature because Dufus Interruptus sitting here next to me in the staff meeting won’t shut his trap! So… shoe -> other foot. Avoid being that guy. Don’t be pegged Mister / Miss Dufus Interruptus. The D.I. is a highly despised and very lonely person with a scarlet letter “I” metaphorically sown on his jacket.
Why is this so” When you interrupt someone you are conveying the idea that your words and ideas are more important than his. In other words, he is not worthy of your attention or your time.
Granted, what you are saying might very well be more important at the moment (especially if he’s pontificating about his Great Aunt Martha’s coin collection), but be extremely careful, especially during an emotional moment, in a business setting or during a situation where there exists an uneven balance of power.
When NOT to interrupt:
- when the highway patrolman pulls you over
- when your spouse to be is reciting his/her wedding vows
- when someone is paying you a compliment
- when your boss is in the middle of a conniption fit (warranted or not)
- when one of your co-workers is making a point
- when your client asks you a question
Interruptions don’t only occur with our vocal chords. Telephones, pagers and various electronic gadgetry each do quite well on their own. How many of us have seen the commercial starring Inconsiderate Cell Phone Man” He’s taking calls during weddings, business meetings, romantic dinners and the like. Sure, he’s a stereotype, but this stereotype exists for a reason. People who continually choose their phone over real live human beings – and talk annoyingly loud while doing so – are considered rude and rightly invite a good flogging… verbally, that is.
Think your PDA / Blackberry / Game Boy isn’t as obnoxious just because you turned the beeping off” Think again, sister. Anything that takes your attention off of the one with whom you are supposed to be conversing is R-U-D-E.
Want rude with extra attitude” Try cracking open a book, blowing bubbles with or smacking your gum, perusing through a magazine, jamming to your iPod, surfing the web, instant messaging, or – most horrifyingly – breaking out the nail polish while trying to engage in important conversation. You think we’re kidding.
When to interrupt:
- when you want to annoy the crap out of a sibling
- when you are trying to shake a creepy, intoxicated and/or unwanted suitor
- when your best friend is marrying the wrong person
- when there is a life-threatening emergency
- when you have a looming, unavoidable deadline
- when someone is reporting misleading or inaccurate information that could harm you (either with physical danger or by reputation) and/or those around you
We don’t argue with the fact that there are times when taking a particular call or message validly takes precedence over whatever it is that you are doing at the moment. If you must do this, politely and unobtrusively excuse yourself from the situation (meeting, dinner, dance contest, whatever). Briefly explain the nature of the interruption (if appropriate – beware of “TMI”), take care of the pressing issue and get back to the situation at hand.
The bottom line is – as always – treat others as you would like to be treated. Good karma rules.
